Itachi and Deidara: Romeo and Juliet
by goddess.of.snow.33
Summary: Itachi had caught sight of the mysterious blonde and instantly fallen head-over-heels in love. ItaDei - parody of Romeo and Juliet. Complete.
1. Meetings

**A/N: **I got this idea and I just couldn't help but write about it! XD The funny thing is that I haven't even caught up to the point in the anime where you meet Deidara yet. I just know who he is from seeing fanart and the like. Speaking of which, this was kinda just a tiny bit inspired by a piece of fanart I found on deviantart called "Akatsuki Pastimes: Deidara" by MSkyDragons. You should see it, it's hilarious!

_Naruto_ belongs to Masashi Kishimoto (obviously) and _Romeo and Juliet_ belongs to Shakespeare (seriously, what do you think? I'm not a playwright!)

And for your information, Iwagakure is Deidara's village. That's why the fic is set there.

Enough! On to the ItaDei and my horrible parody of Naruto and Shakespeare. Please, please don't kill me . . .

xxx

Itachi and Deidara: Romeo and Juliet

Chapter 1 – Meetings

_Two clans, both alike in dignity,  
In fair Iwagakure, where we lay our scene,  
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,  
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.  
_

Uchiha Itachi was standing in the shadows of a column, face hidden in the high collar of his Akatsuki robe. His eyes peered out over the edge of the black silk, glittering in the dim light cast by the torches. His gaze was directed at a tall blonde ninja who stood leaning against the railing of a balcony, breathing the cool night air as he talked to another man. Other ninja passed around him, talking conversationally and taking food from the trays the servants offered.

Itachi had snuck into the party to see if he could catch a glimpse of his crush. Doing this was very dangerous since the Uchiha clan was the sworn enemy of the clan that was throwing the party. Itachi had braved this danger in hopes of seeing his crush again, but upon entering the building, the dark-haired ninja had caught sight of the mysterious blonde and instantly fallen head-over-heels in love.

Itachi grabbed the sleeve of a passing servant. "What man is that, which doth enrich the hand of yonder ninja?" He motioned to the blonde standing on the balcony, hand in hand with another man.

"I know not, sir."

Itachi let the servant go and brought a hand over his heart, sighing. "O, he doth teach the torches to burn bright! It seems he hangs upon the cheek of night, like a rich jewel in a kunoichi's ear; beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear! So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows, as yonder ninja o'er his fellows shows. The measure done, I'll watch his place of stand, and, touching his, make blessed my rude hand." Itachi closed his eyes, clenching his hands into fists. "Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty . . . till this night . . ."

The Uchiha opened his eyes and gasped, realizing that the blonde now stood alone. Quickly, he left the shadows and walked out into the blue evening light of the balcony. The blonde ninja turned to him, and Itachi took his hand.

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss . . ." He parted his lips and moved a bit closer to the other ninja, but the blonde moved away slightly. Yet he did not pull his hand away, and he was smiling faintly.

"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss." He held up his hand and Itachi rested his palm against it, raising one eyebrow.

"Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"

The other ninja held the Uchiha's gaze unfalteringly. "Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer . . ."

Itachi smirked. "O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."

The blonde ninja moved a fraction closer, still staring up into Itachi's dark eyes. "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake." He tipped his head to the side, almost unnoticeably.

The dark-haired ninja smiled slightly and brought his lips a centimeter away from the other ninja's. "Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take." He closed his eyes and kissed the blonde ninja gently, their palms still pressed together. Itachi pulled away slowly. "Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged."

The blonde ninja meshed his fingers with Itachi's, sighing as he moved closer. "Then have my lips the sin that they have took," he said with a smile.

The Uchiha was surprised, but he did not show it. "Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again." He leaned in and cupped the blonde's head with his hand as he placed a soft kiss on his lips.

When he pulled away, the other ninja was smirking. "You kiss by the book."

Itachi started as a servant stepped onto the balcony and bowed to the blonde ninja. "My lord, your mother craves a word with you."

The blonde ninja turned back to Itachi and held his eyes for a moment. The Uchiha felt something on his palm which was still pressed against the other ninja's, and as the other ninja reached up to cup his cheek he saw that there was a mouth on his hand.

The blonde ninja winked and then turned away, disappearing into the crowd inside the room.

The Uchiha turned and rested a hand on the railing of the balcony, gazing over the village. "Who is his mother?" he asked the servant.

The woman was puzzled by the question but answered nonetheless. "Well, good sir, his mother is the lady of the house, and a good lady, and a wise and virtuous. I nursed her son that you spoke with."

Itachi's eyes widened and he clutched the railing tighter. "Is he of this clan? O dear account! My life is my foe's debt!" he whispered.

xxx

**A/N: **Lol, that was unreasonably fun to write. If you want me to write more, tell me. I could make a parody of another scene in _Romeo and Juliet _with Itachi and Deidara XD

Review please!

- Snow


	2. Promises

**A/N:** Thank you to all you reviewers! Even though that's only two people so far. I decided I would write another chapter, and at least one more after that. This one's a lot longer than the last one. I hope you enjoy it!

Just so you know, Kisame is Benvolio, Shisui is Mercutio (yep, Itachi didn't kill him yet but he won't live for long either) and Tobi is Tybalt (you'll meet him later). And by the way, this is all supposed to be slightly AU, and remember it's a _parody_!

_Naruto _belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, and _Romeo and Juliet_ is Shakespeare's.

xxx

Chapter 2 – Promises

Itachi had spent the rest of the evening wandering the streets of Iwagakure, lost in thought. It wasn't his place as a member of the Akatsuki to fall in love. That was the last thing he should ever do. And yet, here he was, standing beneath the window that belonged to his beloved Deidara, wishing that the blonde ninja would appear.

The Uchiha stepped farther back into the shadows and leaned against the orchard wall. He remembered how earlier Kisame and Shisui had teased him about his fickleness—how he had, till recently, been in love with a different ninja but was now in love with Deidara. Kisame and Shisui laughed at his inconstant feelings, but they did not understand the feeling of love at first sight. How else could his feelings for Deidara be explained?

His two friends laughed at this two, of course.

"He jests at scars that never felt a wound . . ." Itachi muttered, clenching his fists in anger at the memory.

Just then, a shadow fell on the lawn in front of the Uchiha's feet and he sprang away from the wall, looking up at the window above him. He gasped as he recognized the ninja who stood there, golden hair falling about his shoulders.

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?" the Uchiha whispered, smirking. "It is the east, and Deidara is the sun. It is my lord, oh, it is my love! O, that he knew he were!" the dark-haired ninja murmured. "He speaks yet he says nothing: what of that? His eye discourses; I will answer it." Itachi took a step forward out of the shadows, but then back as Deidara turned away. "I am too bold, 'tis not to me he speaks: two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat his eyes, to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if his eyes were there, they in his head? The brightness of his cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp; his eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night!" he sighed. "See, how he leans his cheek upon his hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"

Itachi smiled slightly at the blonde ninja. Deidara was leaning against the balcony's railing, a strange look on his face. "Ay me!" he whispered to the night.

Itachi's eyes lit. "He speaks! O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art as glorious to this night, being o'er my head, as is a winged messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air . . ."

The Uchiha took a step closer to the wall and gazed up at his love.

Deidara shifted, fiddling with the long strands of his golden hair. "O Itachi, Itachi . . . wherefore art thou, Itachi?" The blonde looked up at the moon. His face was lit with its silver glow. "Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer recognize the name of my father's clan!"

Itachi smiled widely. It was clear Deidara missed him greatly. He put a hand to his lips in thought. "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?" he puzzled.

Deidara was still gazing at the moon, and speaking softly into the darkness. "'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; thou art thyself, though not an Uchiha. What's Uchiha? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man." The blonde threw his arms up in exasperation. "O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet!" Deidara sighed again and bowed his head. His golden hair, pale in the moonlight, fell over his face. "So Itachi would, were he not Itachi call'd, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Itachi, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself . . ."

Itachi stepped forward and raised an eyebrow. "I take thee at thy word: call me but love, and I'll be new baptized . . . henceforth I never will be Itachi."

Deidara's head snapped up. "What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night so stumblest on my counsel?" he said quietly, an edge to his voice.

The Uchiha was completely unruffled by Deidara's change of emotion. "By a name, I know not how to tell thee who I am: my name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee; had I it written, I would tear the word," he teased.

Deidara's eyes widened. "My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words of that tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound . . ." His lips curved in a smile. "Art thou not Itachi and an Uchiha?

Itachi smirked and stepped into the narrow path of moonlight falling on the lawn. "Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike . . ."

Deidara held Itachi's dark eyes with his own. "How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, and the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here."

The Uchiha shrugged off the warning and took another step forward. "With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls; for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do that dares love attempt . . ." he said with a smile. "Therefore thy kinsmen are no threat to me."

Deidara raised an eyebrow, glaring down at the dark-haired ninja below him. "If they do see thee, they will murder thee."

Itachi raised an arm to protect himself from Deidara's glare, feigning fear. "Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords: look thou but sweet, and I am proof against their enmity." He smirked again as a faint blush rose in Deidara's cheeks.

"I would not for the world they saw thee here," the blonde ninja murmured.

Itachi reached up and Deidara bent down and reached through the bars of the railing – their hands could barely meet, but the Uchiha managed to take the blonde ninja's hand comfortingly. "I have night's cloak to hide me from their sight; and but thou love me, let them find me here! My life would be better ended by their hate than death prorogued, wanting of thy love . . ."

Deidara smiled. "Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face, else would a blush bepaint my cheek for that which thou hast heard me speak to-night." He stood up, taking back his hand. "Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny what I have spoke: but farewell compliment! Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,' and I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st, thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries then say, Jove laughs." He turned his back on the dark-haired ninja below him. "O gentle Itachi, if thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully: or if thou think'st I am too quickly won, I'll frown and be perverse and say thee nay, so thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world." Deidara turned back again and went to the railing. "In truth, fair Uchiha, I am too fond, and therefore thou mayst think my behavior light: but trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true than those that have more cunning to be strange." He shook his head, hair spilling over his shoulders like threads of liquid gold. "I should have been more strange, I must confess, but that thou overheard'st, ere I was ware, my true love's passion: therefore pardon me, and not impute this yielding to light love which the dark night hath so discovered."

Itachi placed a hand over his heart. "Then, my lord, by yonder blessed moon I swear—"

Deidara reached down and seized his hand. "O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable . . ."

Itachi took Deidara's hand and rested his cheek against it. "What shall I swear by?"

The blonde ninja sighed. "Do not swear at all; or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee."

Itachi's eyes widened every so slightly. He pulled himself up onto the balcony, gracefully, like a cat. He took a step closer to Deidara. "If my heart's dear love—"

Deidara took a step backwards and raised a hand. "Well, do not swear, although I joy in thee—"

Itachi placed a hand over Deidara's mouth to silence him and then took it away again, leaning in to kiss the blonde ninja. His lips were so close, close enough that Deidara could feel the warmth of his breath. The blonde turned away. "I have no joy in this contract to-night: it is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden; too like the lightning, which doth cease to be ere one can say 'it lightens' . . ." he whispered, sighing as Itachi's lips brushed his jaw. "Sweet, good night! This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet." He took the Uchiha's shoulders and held him at arms length. "Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest come to thy heart as that within my breast!"

Itachi took his hand and pulled him closer. "O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

Deidara breathed in sharply as the Uchiha pulled him into his embrace. "What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?"

"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine . . ." the dark-haired ninja murmured, fiddling with Deidara's hair.

The blonde ninja let Itachi hold him, closing his eyes. "I gave thee mine before thou didst request it: and yet I would it were to give again . . ."

"Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?"

Deidara pulled away so he could look into the Uchiha's dark eyes. "But to be frank, and give it thee again! And yet I wish but for the thing I have: my bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."

"My lord!" a voice called from inside Deidara's room. The blonde started.

"I hear some noise within; dear love, adieu!" he whispered to Itachi. "Stay but a little, for I will come again." The blonde ninja disappeared through the doorway, leaving the Uchiha to gaze up at the moon alone.

"O blessed, blessed night! I am afraid, being in night, all this is but a dream, too flattering-sweet to be substantial . . ."

He turned away from the glowing doorway and leaned against the railing. Soon after, Deidara stepped around the door behind him, standing there illuminated by the golden light from within. "Hist, Itachi! Hist! To-morrow will I send."

"My lord!" came a voice again.

Itachi opened his mouth to speak, but Deidara raised a hand. "A thousand times good night!"

"A thousand times the worse, to want thy light," the Uchiha whispered bitterly to the moon. "Love goes toward love, as schoolboys from their books, but love from love, toward school with heavy looks . . ."

The dark-haired ninja was about to leave, but a gentle hand upon his shoulder stopped him. "Itachi."

"My love?" he whispered, whirling around to see Deidara again.

"At what o'clock to-morrow shall I send to thee?"

The Uchiha took the blonde ninja's shoulders and brought him closer. "Hn . . . at the hour of nine . . ." he muttered before pulling Deidara into a kiss.

"I will not fail . . ." Deidara murmured breathlessly once Itachi had pulled away. "'Tis twenty years till then!" he said, rolling his eyes. "Hn . . . you know, I have forgotten why I did call thee back."

Itachi smirked and brushed his lips over Deidara's. "Let me stand here till thou remember it."

The blonde ninja shuddered as Itachi began to unbutton his shirt. "I shall forget, to have thee still stand there, remembering how I . . . love thy company . . ."

"And I'll still stay, to have thee still forget, forgetting any other home but this," the Uchiha murmured slowly, holding the other ninja's gaze.

Deidara looked away suddenly. "'Tis almost morning; I would have thee gone: and yet no further than a wanton's bird; who lets it hop a little from his hand, like a poor prisoner in his twisted gyves, and with a silk thread plucks it back again, so loving-jealous of his liberty." The blonde ninja held out his hand, and a small clay bird appeared on his palm. He smiled down at it and held it close to his chest.

"I would I were thy bird," Itachi whispered with a smirk. He leaned down and pressed his lips against Deidara's collarbone.

The blonde ninja shivered with pleasure. "Sweet, so would I: yet I should kill thee with much cherishing." He pulled away reluctantly. "Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow . . ."

He disappeared once more into the light of the doorway. Itachi smiled and disappeared into the darkness. "Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast! I would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest . . ." he whispered.

And so night passed over Iwagakure, ignorant of all that had passed in that dark orchard.

xxx

**A/N: **by the way, in Shakespearean terms, "would" can sometimes mean "wish."

Don't forget to reviewww

I'm kinda getting to like this fic more, so I've decided to write at least 2 more chapters – I'll see if I can finish the plot in that much time.

- Snow


	3. Mistakes

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay, but the good news is that in this chapter you get to see more characters than just Deidara and Itachi! And the storyline advances a lot further. Although there's no romance in this chapter DX

Another note: the "Tsuchikage" is the Kage of Iwagakure. Just so you know.

btw, for the most part I'm going with the original storyline of _Romeo and Juliet_, but I might change a few details (like switching character's lines or adding some of my own) and also some more important things later on, especially the ending . . . o.O that's right, I haven't decided how this'll end. Itachi-kun and his Deidara might not die! XD

Call it artistic license.

Muwahaha.

xxx

Chapter 3 – Mistakes

The afternoon was hot. Orange light bathed the stones of the village square. Itachi had discarded his Akatsuki robe—he was only wearing a light tunic over his pants. The silk felt warm against his skin, but it was better than being suffocated inside the robe with its high collar. Though the humid air weighed down on him, it was not enough to dampen the Uchiha's spirits. Earlier that day, he had met with Deidara as planned. They had secretly married and decided to run away with each other as soon as they could. Well, not run away _together_ as in just the two of themDeidara had decided to join the Akatsuki and leave his village behind. The blonde ninja had been longing to leave, but had never found a place to go and had given up hope. Now that Itachi was there, his dreams were possible once more.

Itachi had never felt better in his life. He sighed in contentment, his only source of unhappiness the wish that the day they would leave could be closer.

The Uchiha had come to the edge of the square, looking down over the road bellow. In the hazy distance he saw Kisame and Shisui. The dark-haired ninja started walking towards them, taking the tie out of his hair and letting his dark locks blow in the gentle summer breeze. Again, he felt a pain in his chest, wishing that Deidara was with him.

Itachi sighed, pushing it from his mind. He realized his friends still did not know about Deidara. Kisame would be interested to learn that there would be a new member of the Akatsuki.

xxx

Shisui scuffed his foot in the dust of the road, shielding his eyes from the glare of the afternoon sun. "I pray thee, Kisame, let's retire: the day is hot, there are enemies abroad, and, if we meet, we shall not escape a brawl; for now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring."

Kisame scoffed. "Thou art overly worried. Fear not."

"Fear not, you say? Look." Shisui pointed past Kisame to a group ninja emerging through the haze. They were steadily drawing nearer. They belonged to Deidara's house—the sworn enemies of the Uchiha clan, to which Shisui belonged. While Kisame was not an Uchiha, he was allied with the clan because of his connection to Itachi, and was therefore an enemy of the approaching ninja.

But Kisame rolled his eyes, ignoring the danger. "By my heel, I care not."

The leader of the ninja turned to his group. His name was Tobi, and he was in fact a friend and cousin of Deidara's. "Follow me close, for I will speak to them," he told the other ninja before turning to Kisame and Shisui. "Gentlemen, good day: I would like a word with one of you."

Shisui scowled, forgetting his previous caution. "And but one word with one of us? Couple it with something; make it a word and a blow"

Tobi's voice was calm as ever. "You shall find me apt enough to that, sir, if you will give me occasion!"

"Could you not take some occasion without giving?" Shisui spat back.

Kisame held up an arm between the two, suddenly worried that the situation would get out of hand. "We talk here in the public haunt of men: either withdraw unto some private place, and reason coldly of your grievances, or else depart." He glanced at their faces anxiously. "Here all eyes gaze on us." Kisame's tone was warning.

Shisui ignored it. "Men's eyes were made to look, and let them gaze; I will not budge for no man's pleasure, I."

At that moment, Itachi appeared around the corner. He tied his hair up and walked over to his friends, but then stiffened upon noticing Tobi.

"Well, peace be with you, sir," the masked ninja muttered to Shisui. "Here comes the Uchiha. My business is with him." He turned to Itachi, gripping a kunai in his hand. "The hate I bear thee can afford no better term than this. Thou art a villain," he growled.

Itachi was completely unaffected by this. He put a hand on Tobi's shoulder. After all, any friend of Deidara's was a friend of his. "Tobi, the reason that I have to befriend thee doth much excuse the appertaining rage to such a greeting: villain am I none; therefore farewell; I see thou know'st me not." He turned on his heel.

But Tobi would not give up—he was determined to get revenge for the blood that had been spilled between his clan and Itachi's. His grudge was against all Uchihas, not Itachi in particular, but it didn't matter to the hot-headed ninja. "This shall not excuse the injuries that thou hast done me; therefore turn and draw!" he shouted.

Itachi turned back to face him. He was in no mood to fight. "I do protest, I never injured thee, but love thee better than thou canst devise." He wished that he could explain that they were now related through his marriage to Deidara, but the secret had to be kept for his plan to succeed.

Tobi turned away wordlessly and began to walk away down the road. Shisui drew a katana and pointed it after the ninja's retreating form. "O calm, dishonourable, vile submission! Tobi, will you flee from us?"

The masked ninja stopped, clenching his fists. "What wouldst thou have with me?"

Shisui answered with his blade, and Tobi blocked quickly. Itachi rushed to stand between them. "Gentle Shisui, put thy blade up," he muttered, a dangerous note of anger in his voice.

Shisui pushed the Uchiha out of the way, growling as he brought his blade in an arc down above Tobi's head. The masked ninja blocked again and then made his own attacks, his anger rekindled.

Itachi whirled on Kisame. "Draw and beat down their weapons! For shame, forbear this outrage!" He bared his teeth and drew a kunai, turning once more on the dueling ninja. "Tobi! Shisui! The Tsuchikage expressly hath forbidden fighting in Iwagakure's streets." The blade of his kunai flew between their blades, holding them apart. "Hold, Tobi! Good Shisui!" Itachi gasped out, still scowling. "Do not fight."

Shisui's eyes softened and he shook himself, glancing at his friend's face. His brow furrowed and he hesitated. In an instant Tobi stabbed his arm and fled with the other ninja.

Shisui looked down at the blood staining his sleeve. "I am hurt." He clutched his arm, wincing in pain. "A plague o' both your houses!" he shouted. "I am sped. Is he gone, and hath nothing, not a wound?"

Kisame came over to him. "What, art thou hurt?"

"Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch; marry, 'tis enough. Where is my page?" he called. A boy appeared at his side. "Go, fetch a medic," he ordered, panting and leaning heavily against the wall. The boy dashed off.

Itachi was staring after Tobi, face set, eyes flickering. "Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much," he said to Shisui, his calm voice deadly. Shisui collapsed to the dusty ground, wincing in pain, and Itachi turned around, eyes widening. He dashed over to his friend, forgetting his bitterness.

Shisui tried to smile. "No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve: ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague o' both your houses! A rogue, a villain, to scratch a man to death! Why the devil came you between us? I was hurt under your arm."

"I thought all for the best," Itachi explained, trying to bandage the ninja's arm. Shisui was losing a lot of blood, and he would faint from it before a medic reached him if his wound wasn't bound up.

"Help me into some house or I shall faint. A plague o' both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me . . . worm's meat . . ." Shisui whispered, blood trickling from his mouth. His head fell back in the dust of the road and his eyes went out of focus, staring up into the afternoon sun.

Itachi stared in shock at his lifeless friend. At first he felt only grief, wanting to cry out and curse fate for such an evil, but gradually anger took over and instead he desired to curse Tobi's name and see him dead in Shisui's place. Revenge filled his thoughts. He stood up, clenching his fists, face impassive once more. "This day's black fate on more days doth depend; this but begins the woe that others must end," he whispered, eyes glittering with hatred.

Kisame shaded his eyes, looking down the road with worry. "Here comes the furious Tobi back again!"

Itachi smiled then, bitterly, as he turned to face the masked ninja. "Tobi, alive, and in triumph! And Shisui slain! Away to heaven, mercy," he growled, "and fire-eyed fury be my conduct now!" With a shout he ran at Tobi. Their blades met. Itachi locked eyes with the masked ninja, glaring with hatred. "Now, Tobi, take the villain back again that late thou gavest me; for Shisui's soul is but a little way above our heads, staying for thine to keep him company: either thou, or I, or both, must go with him!"

"Thou, wretched boy, that didst consort him here, shalt with him hence," Tobi jeered.

"This shall determine that," Itachi snarled. The Uchiha moved in a flash and stabbed Tobi in the chest. The masked ninja fell instantly to the ground. Itachi stepped back and wiped the blood from his kunai, eyes lit, smiling from the exhilaration of the fight.

"Itachi, away, be gone! The citizens are up, and Tobi slain," Kisame warned. "Stand not amazed: the Tsuchikage will doom thee death, if thou art taken: hence, be gone, away!"

Itachi looked down once more at the body at his feet. "O, I am fortune's fool!" he whispered. To have slain Deidara's friend and cousin . . . and now to be sentenced to death for the deed . . . his hot-headedness and thirst for blood had blinded him.

"Why dost thou stay?"

Itachi turned and glared at Kisame with heavy eyes before disappearing down the road. He had to find Deidara.

xxx

The villagers of Iwagakure filled the road, gathering around Kisame and Shisui. One man stepped forward. "Which way ran he that kill'd Shisui? Tobi, that murderer, which way ran he?"

Kisame pointed to the lifeless body of the masked ninja. "There lies that Tobi."

The man took Kisame's arm. "Up, sir, go with me; I charge thee in the Tsuchikage's name, obey."

The crowd parted to let the Tsuchikage enter. He was followed by Uchiha Fugaku and Uchiha Mikoto, Itachi's mother and father, and another woman, Deidara's mother.

The Tsuchikage turned to Kisame. "Where are the vile beginners of this fray?"

"O noble lord, I can discover all, the unlucky manage of this fatal brawl: there lies the man, slain by young Itachi, that slew thy kinsman, brave Shisui."

Deidara's mother fell to her knees. Her tears fell in the dust of the road, staining it black. "Tobi, my cousin! O my brother's child! O my lord! O cousin, cousin! O, the blood is spilt! O my dear kinsman!" She knelt in front of the Tsuchikage, looking up with beseeching eyes. "My noble lord, hear my plea; for blood of ours, shed blood of Itachi!" She covered her face with her hands. "O cousin, cousin . . ."

The Tsuchikage put a comforting hand on her shoulder and spoke once again to Kisame. "Who began this bloody fray?"

Kisame took a deep breath. "Tobi, here slain, whom Itachi's hand did slay; Itachi that spoke him fair, bade him bethink how nice the quarrel was, and urged withal your high displeasure: all this uttered with gentle breath, calm look, knees humbly bow'd, could not take truce with the unruly spleen of Tobi deaf to peace, but that he tilts with piercing steel at bold Shisui, who all as hot-headed, turns deadly point to point, and, with a martial scorn, with one hand beats cold death aside, and with the other sends it back to Tobi, whose dexterity retorts it: Itachi cries aloud, 'Hold, friends! friends, part!' and, swifter than his tongue, his agile arm beats down their fatal points, and 'twixt them rushes; underneath whose arm an envious thrust from Tobi hit the life of stout Shisui, and then Tobi fled; but by and by comes back to Itachi, who had but newly entertain'd revenge, and to 't they go like lightning, for, ere I could draw to part them, was stout Tobi slain. And, as he fell, did Romeo turn and fly." He paused. "This is the truth, or let Kisame die," he finished.

Deidara's mother stood and pointed a finger accusingly at Kisame. "He is a kinsman to the Uchiha; affection makes him false; he speaks not true: some twenty of them fought in this black strife, and all those twenty could but kill one life." She turned again to the Tsuchikage. "I beg for justice, which thou, lord, must give; Itachi slew Tobi, Itachi must not live!"

The Tsuchikage closed his eyes. "Itachi slew him, he slew Shisui; on whom should the price of his dear blood now be?"

Uchiha Fugaku took a step forward, bowing to the Tsuchikage. "Not Itachi, lord, he was Shisui's friend; his fault concludes but what the law should end," he said emphatically, "the life of Tobi." Deidara's mother's eyes widened and her mouth quivered, but she did not speak.

The Tsuchikage had made his decision. "And for that offence, immediately we do exile him hence: I have an interest in your hate's proceeding, my blood for your rude brawls doth lie a-bleeding; but I'll amerce you with so strong a fine that you shall all repent the loss of mine: I will be deaf to pleading and excuses; nor tears nor prayers shall purchase out abuses: therefore use none: let Itachi hence in haste, else, when he's found, that hour is his last. Bear hence this body and attend our will: mercy but murders, pardoning those that kill." With that, he turned and left the road. The other villagers followed him until only Kisame and the dead were left.

Kisame stood for a moment, looking over the bodies of the fallen ninja. Shisui was dead, Itachi was banished, and Tobi's death was at the Uchiha's hands.

Everything had gone horribly wrong.

xxx

**A/N:** oh no. Itachi is banished! Except that actually goes _with_, not against, his plan XD

Shisui's was the first death scene I've ever written. I certainly didn't expect to put that in a humor fic, but it kinda just happened. I mean, Mercutio does die in _Romeo and Juliet_, and since Shisui dies in _Naruto_ anyway, I thought the part fit.

And sorry I had to kill Tobi, but it also had to happen. And (warning: spoiler coming!!) I know he's an Uchiha and that he should technically be on Itachi's side but . . . he just isn't, k?

Review please, at least one more chapter to come! (maybe more?) And it'll be more ItaDei, don't worry!

- Snow


	4. Resolutions

**A/N:** WAHHH!! I haven't updated in ages! I hope you guys are still reading . . . please don't kill me for being such a bad author! XD The reason this is late is that I was watching Shippuden! Can you believe it? Anyway, Deidara's fight was pure awesome. Same with Sakura and Sasori's fight. Oh, and I was I the only one to scream endlessly at that end part after one episode where Deidara was talking to Kisame and he asked about Itachi and said something about how the Uchiha was good-looking?! OH MY GOD!! . –fangirlspaz– I swear Kishimoto is trying to torture us! He is such a closet yaoi fan!

–sigh– anyway, on to the chapter. Hope you like it!

xxx

Chapter 4 – Resolutions

Deidara sat by the windowsill of his room, looking out at Iwagakure. The tiled roofs of houses shimmered in the midday heat. The square and the streets surrounding it were empty as far as Deidara could see. No one seemed to be out. He had heard a commotion earlier coming from down the road, but had thought nothing of it.

The blonde ninja sighed and looked down at the ring on his finger—Itachi's ring, now his. He put his head in his hands and wondered how much longer he was going to have to wait to leave his abominable town. He hated that his marriage to the Uchiha had to be kept secret. Each second of waiting here without the dark-haired ninja by his side made him angry.

Deidara groaned. "O, I have bought the mansion of a love, but not possessed it, and, though I am sold, not yet enjoyed! So tedious is this day as is the night before some festival to an impatient child that hath new robes . . . and may not wear them!"

He leaned his elbows on the windowsill and opened his hand, letting a small clay bird go. It flew into the air and hovered against the deep blue of the sky. "Katsu," Deidara whispered. He smiled slightly at the explosion, which sent echoes running across the deserted square.

Silence settled again, but Deidara's ears picked up a new sound—footsteps? He spun around. "O, here comes my nurse, and she brings news; and every tongue that speaks but Romeo's name speaks heavenly eloquence!" He dashed to the door and flung it open. "Now, nurse, what news? What—" He stopped in shock. It was not his nurse who stood in the open doorway.

Itachi stood there with his eyes downcast, face lost in his high Akatsuki collar. "Deidara," he began. "I come with news I would I did not have to bring."

Deidara pulled the Uchiha inside and closed the door, taking the other ninja's hands and forcing him to meet his gaze. "Ay me! What news? Why dost thou wring thy hands?"

Itachi turned his head away and closed his eyes. Deidara moved closer to hear the Uchiha's quiet words. "He's dead, he's dead, he's dead!" the dark-haired ninja whispered. "We are all undone. Shisui killed and Tobi murdered. Curse this day! He's gone, he's killed, he's dead!"

Deidara gasped. "Can heaven be so envious?"

Itachi shook his head. "Itachi can, though heaven cannot: O Itachi, Itachi! Who ever would have thought it? Itachi!"

Deidara furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Itachi went on. "I made the wound, I made it with these hands. His face pale, pale as ashes, all bedaub'd in blood . . ."

Deidara took a step back, hands trembling. "O, break, my heart! Poor bankrupt, break at once! To prison, eyes, ne'er look on liberty!"

Itachi breathed in sharply and took a step towards Deidara. "My lord . . ."

"O God! Did Itachi's hand shed Tobi's blood?"

Itachi winced. "It did, it did; alas the day, it did," he whispered.

Deidara reached out to touch the Uchiha's cheek. "O serpent heart, hid with a flowering face! Did ever dragon keep so fair a cave? Beautiful tyrant! fiend angelical! Dove-feather'd raven! wolvish-ravening lamb! Despised substance of divinest show! Just opposite to what thou justly seem'st, a damned saint, an honourable villain! O nature, what hadst thou to do in hell, when thou didst bower the spirit of a fiend in moral paradise of such sweet flesh?" Deidara brushed his lips across Itachi's, closing his eyes briefly—he was kissing the man who had killed his best friend, his best friend in the world . . . and yet, that very friend had killed Shisui. He pulled away and studied Itachi's impassive face. "Was ever book containing such vile matter so fairly bound? O that deceit should dwell in such a gorgeous palace!" He hugged the Uchiha and was surprised when he felt comforting arms circling his shoulders.

"There's no trust, no faith, no honesty in men," Itachi murmured into Deidara's hair. "All perjured, all forsworn, all naught, all dissemblers," he whispered bitterly. "These griefs, these woes, these sorrows make me old. Same come to Itachi!"

Deidara pulled away and looked up into Itachi's dark eyes fiercely. "Blister'd be thy tongue for such a wish! You were not born to shame." He cupped the Uchiha's face in his hand. "Upon this brow shame is ashamed to sit; for 'tis a throne where honour may be crown'd sole monarch of the universal earth. O, what a beast was I to chide at you!"

Itachi blinked slowly, eyes heavy with sadness. "Will you speak well of him that kill'd your cousin?"

Deidara grabbed the dark-haired ninja and pulled him close. "Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband?" the blonde growled. Itachi's mouth curved every-so-slightly upward, betraying his relief. Deidara smirked, his tone changing to one that was light and teasing. "Ah, poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name, when I, thy three-hours husband, have mangled it?" He ran a finger along Itachi's jaw, the dark-haired ninja still watching him coolly. Deidara raised an eyebrow. "But, wherefore, villain, didst thou kill my cousin? That villain cousin would have kill'd my husband." He held a hand to his forehead. "Back, foolish tears, back to your native spring. Your tributary drops belong to woe, which you, mistaking, offer up to joy." He looked up at Itachi again. "My husband lives, that Tobi would have slain; and Tobi's dead, that would have slain my husband. All this is comfort; wherefore weep I then?"

Itachi smiled sadly. "I do not wish to see you weep, but I must tell you that I am banished by order of the Tsuchikage."

Deidara's eyes narrowed. "Banished?! There is no end, no limit, measure, bound, in that word's death; no words can that woe sound." He sighed impatiently. "Where is my father, and my mother, and my nurse?"

"Weeping and wailing over Tobi's corpse. Will you go to them? I will bring you thither."

Deidara shook his head, a strange look in his eye. "Wash they his wounds with tears: mine shall be spent when theirs are dry, for your banishment." He went to rummage in his closet, finally returning with a bag and a travelling cloak. He held out his hand to Itachi. "Take my hand, husband, let not your anger be riled; both you and I; for we are exiled—you by decree and I now by choice, for only by your side can I truly rejoice. I no longer desire to remain here with my kin, but to go with you, be it saintly or be it sin."

Itachi's eyes widened as he took the blonde ninja's hand. The day they would leave Iwagakure together didn't have to be far off in the future . . . no, Deidara wanted it to be today. The Uchiha pulled Deidara closer and kissed him tenderly.

"I love you, yeah," Deidara whispered when the Uchiha pulled away.

xxx

The villagers were confused by Deidara's abrupt disappearance that afternoon, and were convinced that the young blonde would return, though he never did. Itachi also disappeared, but no one thought anything of it. Later, word reached Iwagakure that Deidara had joined Akatsuki, and that Itachi was behind it. The names of the two ninja were cursed, but the blonde and the Uchiha could not have been happier, together at last.

_In the weaving of this tale, now comes the final thread;_

_The lesson is that some men are pardon'd, some are punished:_

_But never was a story more sincere or more free_

_Than this of Deidara and his Itachi._

xxx

**A/N:** oh my god, that was the LAST CHAPTER! I hope you liked the ending. I put a lot of my own dialogue and stuff in, tried to sound Shakespearean . . . yeah.

**Next time: **erm, there will be no next time because this is the end, sorry. BUT YOU CAN READ MY OTHER FICS!! (InoSaku, anyone?)

OK, I'll stop hopelessly advertising for myself and thank all my reviewers! You guys rock!

- Snow


End file.
